Want to Meet? Here’s My Scheduling Link With No Availability

(Bloomberg) -- So many of us have felt the cold sting of scheduling software disrespect. A colleague sends a scheduling link, her next available opening is in 10 days, and you feel like your position on her priority list is somewhere below nine full days of people and activities. Or her software is clunky and several minutes later, you are exasperated and still unbooked, and she is oblivious.

Popular programs like Schedulicity, Acuity and Calendly allow users to book, reschedule and cancel appointments on a user's calendar, but can also provoke grievances. But online scheduling-software can leave a lot of room for social faux pas, and is now drawing the ire of some users on Twitter. The cause of resentment is that the tools often inadvertently signal a value difference between the two parties' time.

“It can convey the sense of someone being oh-so-gracious by deigning time for someone far less important — with no consideration to whether the times are actually convenient for the other party,” said Nick Leighton, host of the etiquette podcast, “Were You Raised by Wolves?”

Conversely, too much availability also sends a negative message: “Would you want to be operated on by a heart surgeon who could schedule you any time?” Leighton said. You see the rub.

The software was once perceived as a way to end to the vampiric back-and-forth email chains that plagued so many inboxes. Dozens of popular scheduling tools have emerged, each catering to specific demographics, with names like YouCanBook.Me, ScheduleOnce, Appointy and ScheduleHero. Widely used calendar programs like Microsoft Outlook and Gmail also employ similar functionality.

Lost Connections

But all is not well. Etiquette lessons frequently appear on the blogs of software makers, and users are frustrated by the tools' limited ability to auto-suggest mutually convenient times for attendees not in the same calendar program. There are also problems when it to comes to auto-prioritizing a meeting's urgency.

And then there are the lost social connections, according to time-management trainer Marydee Sklar, owner of Executive Functioning Success. She says that software is an insufficient stand-in for the warmth and courtesy of a human-to-human scheduling interaction, which conveys details like “I want to see you” and “I prioritize you.”

“A human interface is important. You have a relationship with this person, and you don't want to lose a customer,” she said, noting that a scheduling link is best paired with extra tact and courtesy, especially with new contacts.

Experts say that auto-schedulers are best avoided when courtesy is the priority. “If you want a more white-glove experience, you should skip these programs,” said executive coach Jessica Yen. Instead, ask for a convenient time and then send a calendar invite directly, which avoids “the power dynamics at play when calendar links are shared directly.” She notes that people's comfort with the programs varies regionally, with her European clients more concerned about data privacy. A recent breech at FlexBooker revealed data such as contact information and partial credit card numbers of 3.7 million users.

Creating Priorities

Kelly Nolan, a time-management strategist, creates her own method for prioritization by maintaining three different calendar links: one for client appointments, one for more casual coffee dates or networking, and one for team meetings. And she cheerleads auto-scheduling for a surprising reason.

“You set end times,” she said. Scheduling tools require users to preset time slots of, say, 10 minutes or 30 minutes, which prevents the problem of attendees ignoring this-meeting-is-over cues. She also finds that most programs protect her clients' time better than they are able to themselves.

“Many of us have that people-pleaser tendency to say ‘Well, okay, I'll just make that inconvenient time work,' and this removes that propensity,” she said.

Nolan avoids potential negative messaging by sharing her Acuity link along with a note: If none of my upcoming appointment times work for you, please let me know.

“It's a signal that I'm willing to work with certain people beyond Acuity,” she said.

‘Fight the Urge'

Perhaps no other scheduling move provokes as much annoyance as the colleagues who fire off their calendar link before a meeting is even agreed to in the first place.

“A scheduling link is appropriate after someone accepts a meeting — not the other way,” said Abha Chiyedan, founder of productivity blog The Werk Life. “Don't just send your Calendly over when you're the one requesting their time.”

Instead try: I would be thrilled to talk to you about ____. Please let me know when is most convenient for you, and I will make it work.

Anna Dearmon Kornick, a time management coach and head of community at team-scheduling optimizer Clockwise, said that one can never go wrong by sending a scheduling link along with a message thoughtfully indicating why the meeting will be a win for you both. And she cautions that when you feel the burn of a rudely sent link, be strong.

“Fight the urge to respond by sending your own link and asking them to choose a time from your calendar,” she said.