The Best Secrets Of Entertaining Regularly

My friend Shammy says that though she loves her gang, entertaining us has become a culinary nightmare. “J lives only on yellow dal and potatoes. T doesn’t have carbs at night. He needs a salad and protein. B, who used to love paneer, is now off dairy. He can’t eat nuts or seeds so no ladies finger or capsicum and no jeera or mustard in the dal. N has suddenly turned vegetarian. You say I hope there’s rajma for me and N says, ‘oh god, rajma at night’.” That’s not the end though. "B wants only homemade food before a flight; S wants to eat at 7.30 p.m., preferably with some healthy greens; J picks at the peanuts in the potatoes and wants to know if he can have bhurji instead,” she says.

“I’m left with no appetite,” adds Shammy, who now feels relieved when we decide to eat out. Still, our best parties have unfolded in her always welcoming parlour. Most dinner guests are easier than the ones she must contend with though, and if you feel you have become a rusty entertainer post the pandemic, this is dedicated to you. Hopefully, it will inspire you to get back in the game.

I used to be that person who planned everything a week before guests were expected home. I researched recipes, spring cleaned the house, made multiple lists, painstakingly shopped for difficult-to-find ingredients, stressed that the food would be too much or wouldn’t be enough and spent the entire party zipping in and out of the kitchen. But half a lifetime of being married to a ‘jhatka’ cook whose home is always open to all, irrespective of the volume of dust spread languorously on furniture or the contents of his fridge, has taught me a trick or two about playing host effortlessly. 

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff. It’s great if you’ve managed to make the living room look like something out of a magazine, but most guests don’t care. They’re just relieved that someone else is handling the hosting so they can sit back and relax. Increasingly, hosting a party at home is seen as a ‘big job’ so know that your invitees are already looking at you with starry eyes. If you’re still not convinced, replace your regular lights with fairy lights so your visitors won’t notice any imagined flaws.

Bring Out The Best Stuff. ‘Is there another bottle of the Japanese whiskey?’ This was a text from the husband’s friends, accompanied by a photo of the empty bottle. They were making fun of the fact that I had instructed the husband to ensure that my last remaining bottle of good whiskey, which I saved for my dad’s visits home, was kept hidden from them when they came over for dinner. I smiled, shrugged, and learned another hosting lesson: don’t stockpile the good stuff. Whether it’s those stuffed olives you bought on a trip to Italy or the handcrafted Mescal gifted by a friend—share everything.

Find Your Guru: Apart from the husband, I’m inspired by my friend Tushita Patel, who is one of the best hosts I know. “Entertaining is about generosity—with time, with effort, food and drink,” she says. “You must give a part of you and be present. That’s all.” This wisdom actually sums up why everyone loves her parties. She gave me some more, practical tips too. 1. Always have lots of ice. That’s what separates the professional from the neophyte. If you run out of ice, it means you want the guest to leave. 2. Do at least one thing personal for the guest who’s coming. Think of what she likes/may like based on something you know about them. 3. Add a special touch, something thoughtful, something home cooked. Chilled glasses for cocktails, etc. can really elevate the event.         

Build A Simple Yet Iconic Menu. We always start with one dish and build around it. The husband cooks at least four different varieties of pork. He has stories that go with each, like the tale of the Sirarakhong chillies that travelled thousands of kilometres from a small, difficult-to-access village north of Imphal to his Bangalore kitchen. I chip in with salads inspired by Pinterest and regional delicacies I’ve learned from my grandmothers. We always use our oven and always order some neighbourhood goodies. On our table you’ll find kheema samosas and brain puffs from the bakery that opens only when the mood is right; or Kempegouda cheese from the French gent making handcrafted cheese down the road; or the best sourdough from our favourite Parsi baker. If anyone asks what they should bring, we say something sweet. We are both nervous around dessert. Don’t be daunted even if you’re not an amazing cook like Tushita, Shammy or the husband (two of them are published cookbook authors). Play to your strengths. Don’t follow archaic Indian party rules such as the one that says vegetarian guests should only be served paneer or mushrooms and not regular vegetables. Also remember, most of your guests don’t care about the variety on your table or how prettily you’ve arranged the dishes. If food stresses you out, just order nice pizzas or your favourite biryani and spark a debate on the best Indian biryani. Your target is fresh and flavourful food.

Enjoy Your Own Party. The husband and I usually spend our parties admonishing each other to come out of the kitchen. But if your menu is limited and you’re well organised, there’s no reason to go missing at your own party. 

As for Shammy’s difficult dinner guests? I ask Tushita to create a menu that would make everyone happy. “Yellow dal, potatoes, a protein (I guess chicken, cooked in some kind of dryish fashion which can be eaten with salad and with rice/roti), one more vegetable like a Kerala-style stew (no one said no to coconut), and a dish of eggs,” she says. 

“You alas will have to sacrifice your rajma.”

Priya Ramani is a Bengaluru-based journalist and is on the editorial board of Article-14.com.

The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of BQ Prime or its editorial team.