Sleepless In India

Ever found yourself suddenly awake and unable to fall back to sleep? Before you know it, your thoughts have decided they’ve had enough shuteye and it’s time to begin the day. When you finally succumb and check the time, it’s usually 3 a.m., the universal witching hour of all insomniacs, when, as one friend put it, “all the worries of the day times 100 rush in with stunning clarity and power".

But the pace of your thoughts don’t always mimic the ferocity of a stampeding herd. They could move with the dull thump of a never-ending march, left-right-left-right. 

It could be a single, recurring niggle, one that urges you to examine it from all possible angles—immediately. “I recently realised that so many people wake up at 3 a.m. Earlier, I would think of the monsters under my bed…now I think about the monsters we all have within us that shake us awake at 3 a.m.,” one sleepless Indian woman shared. “Mine is the passage of time and the way I’m not making full use of it, doing justice to my talent, fortunes and the love I have received from others.”

Or it could be the unexpectedly large echo of something small that happened in the day, like one friend shared. An acquaintance with whom she spent an evening, proffered their angled cheek as a goodbye, instead of an outstretched hand. Caught off guard, she kissed the cheek. “I woke up at 3 a.m. thinking I totally misread the situation,” she said. I don’t know how to read social cues, I am socially awkward and I hate any kind of physical touch except with X number of people. When presented with such situations, I do not know how to respond and that inability to understand how I am supposed to respond wakes me up at 3 a.m. and keeps me up.”

One 2023 study by Local Circles, a community-based social media platform, found that 55% of Indians get less than six hours of uninterrupted sleep every night. Of 13,438 people they surveyed, 43% said they slept 6-8 hours, 34% said they slept 4-6 hours, 21% got four hours of sleep.

The internet is full of helpful advice that doesn’t work, and studies that  blame your wakefulness on your staple after dawn activities (screen time, alcohol). Every insomniac, on their part, has a favourite sleep app and a pet trick. Mine is to relax the muscles of my face, one at a time; and to read the longest stories on The New York Times’ domestic news section.

For many, disturbed sleep is aggravated when they’re alone. “The scene from the Reincarnation of Emily Rose immediately flashes in front of my eyes,” one person told me. “Is that a shadow in the corner? What’s that noise? Sometimes our dog wakes up from deep sleep at around 3 a.m. to suddenly stare in one place and bark. And this usually happens when the husband is not in town.”

Our brains love to conjure up  puzzles to interpret at 3 a.m. “I remember this dream where we go into a house for a wedding after taking off chappals, each room has something celebratory going on, so one has to make the right gestures and pass on to the next, and one emerges from the house but there's no way to retrieve the footwear,” a friend said.

When I asked you what keeps you up, many of you told me you worry about important issues such as the attacks on Gaza, climate change, the purpose of life, how life would be if women ruled the world and how to live in unjust times and navigate survivors’ guilt. 

Sometimes, the big questions can be too close for comfort. “I worry that my husband is getting arrested and I don’t know what I should do,” a friend said. 

Most of us though, let the tiniest things invade our 3 a.m. thoughts. Below are some I crowdsourced and compiled. 

What job interviews do I have lined up this week? Did I miss an emergency call or message? What  I will present in the annual plan due for submission next week. Did I buy vegetables? Is the stock market going to crash? I will exercise tomorrow but where are my shoes? Did I reply to that email? 

Deadlines. Weight loss. The future and safety of our children. The death of parents. What lack of deep sleep is going to do to long term health. Shah Rukh Khan. Birthdays. How film and restaurant critics are overrated. Whether to get out of bed and consolidate long pending accounts. Or to force self to go back to sleep so you can be alert at your morning meeting.

What am I going to do when my dog dies? Whether to buy that dress I like. The direction life could have taken. All the people who crossed my life and influenced my decisions. Lost love. The comfort of someone sleeping alongside. How that person would react if they found you dead the next day.

Many to-do lists are made at 3 a.m. “Need to iron daughter’s uniform,  repair my bike which I haven't looked at in two years, do my blood work, need to plan a vacation soon. What is my daughter's exam portion? Did I overshare at work?”

And here’s a great example of how you can hop from thought to thought: “Does my first call/meeting start at 9 a.m. or 9:30 a.m.? I should check. Oh yes it’s 9:30. Damn I’m getting old. It’s my attention span. Damn social media. Did I see KJo at Jamnagar? I don’t think so. Wonder why. Need to check once I wake up. I hope Kate is okay. She’s such a nice person. I feel. Wonder if she’s just playing the role really well or that’s who she is. Anyway if they bumped her off I will personally be devastated. Need to buy onions and bananas.”

And the most fervent thought we all think of at 3 a.m.: How to fall back to sleep?

Priya Ramani is a Bengaluru-based journalist and is on the editorial board of Article-14.com.

The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of NDTV Profit or its editorial team.